FINAL DESTINATION 5


I would first like to point out that any time you have a series of films that do not relate to each other through previous characters and plot lines and yet you are on number five, it's instant garbage. I say this with careful thought, while as bad as all the Saw films got, and as bad as the Paranormal Activity films are likely to get, at least they have and followed a mythology. When Final Destination couldn’t get the one carryover actor from the second film in the third, they just killed her off; films 3, 4 and now, 5, just begin with random new people we don’t care about and the script doesn’t care about. In the original film, death was a scary thing, something the characters and audience feared; now, however, it’s just blood and guts with both the characters and us waiting for the next blood splash.

When Sam Lawton (Nicholas D’Agosto) has a premonition of a New York bridge collapsing underneath the bus he and his work retreat friends are traveling on, he demands his closest friends get off the bus. The inevitable happens, and his eight friends and colleagues escape death. What they quickly come to realize is that death is angry at the ripple in time they have created and is now out to hack, cut, smash, and break them one by one in the order of their death in Sam’s vision. Trying to protect his girlfriend Molly (Emma Bell), Sam will stop at nothing to make sure she is safe.

In the original Final Destination, starring Ali Larter and Devon Sawa and set in 2000, there were few laughs; it was a dark film with comparably realistic deaths. In 5, there are 80% laughs and even those are completely voluntary. This series has changed hands so many times. Each new director, producer and cast creates their own version of the first film, which has taken us through race track massacres, roller coaster nightmares, log truck accidents and beyond. One of the most ridiculous sequences in this one involves a gymnastics accident, but the writers toy with the audience, presenting every possible scenario except for the retardation no one could have seen coming.

With all the death in the film, after each one the characters are barely shaken up; They continue to go on dates and work at their jobs even though someone was just decapitated or smashed into mush. The characters spout lines into the wind like “What’s happening to us?” as if they are rehearsing a middle school play. None of this should be very surprising, as the director, Steven Quale, has never directed a movie in his life. But then, what real director would even contemplate getting behind this garbage. In the end I was so disgusted by the complete lack of effort the movie presented that I couldn’t even appreciate the surprise ending/connection. This is one of the worst movies I have had to sit through in a long time and might I add that the fact that so many audience members in the screening were enjoying it really proves exactly how stupid our society has gotten; but then these films are not made for the intelligent.

 

 Final Thought – Only the ignorant will enjoy this.

Grade F

By: Dustin Chase W.

Edited by: Michael Woody