Grown Ups

   Actor, writer, and producer Adam Sandler has built a career on stupidity, he has managed to create this never ending factory of bad movies from his Happy Madison productions that for some reason people continue to watch. Grown Ups is like a sister film to Couples Retreat. What’s even worse, Tyler Perry is the one who proved these types of middle aged husband and wife movies can be profitable, so they are taking his idea and “making a sissy” all over it. Grown Ups takes everything from Kevin James’ comedy routine, Sandler’s iconic behavior, and so on, putting it all in one movie that caused me to roll my eyes so many times it left me with a headache.

   Word of the passing of their beloved middle school basketball coach reaches five friends who have all taken their separate paths in life. Four are married, and three have children of their own. They reunite back in their old stomping ground for the funeral and scattering of the ashes. Their families mix and mingle, and head up to a retreat to spend some time together for a few days. They poke fun at each other’s weight gain, and other malfunctions, but they all learn something before they leave, and it’s the bond that the coach had always instilled into them.

   I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Oscar nominee Salma Hayek (the only Oscar nominee in the entire movie) has succumbed to this type of movie or role. Hayek has climbed the latter of cheesy mainstream movies to nab the success she has had. Since her terrible decision to replace Rachel Weisz in The Mummy 3, Maria Bello has lost the edge that once made her fun to watch. Everybody else, it’s like they just get together once a year to spout stupid jokes that are so old and unfunny it’s more like watching rocks move. From the dialogue, the acting, the predictable nature of every plot if you can even call it that is dull and completely unwatchable. How anyone could sit, enjoy or even laugh at this movie is beyond my capacity to understand the typical moviegoer, especially when there are more entertaining or thought provoking films out there.

   If Kevin James (Mall Cop) wasn’t fat, and people didn’t like laughing at fat people, what exactly would his talent be? It’s sad when an ailment is the only reason you’re famous. Sandler is heading in that direction with his sloppy look, he used to be funny in films like Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison, but since he has gotten old he does nothing more than recycle the same old junk, and probably laughs all the way back to his Malibu mansion that people still find this crap funny. The low point of the film is where Hayek’s dragon lady character suddenly becomes caring, passionate and normal after she realizes from being unable to skip a rock she has forgotten what’s truly important in life. Grown Ups in completely without a central conflict, this movie is nothing more than a huge advertisement for a water park and a cabin in the woods, it’s insufferable.

   Final Thought – Easily the worst movie of the year, worthy of revoking SAG cards.

Grade F

By: Dustin Chase W.          Editor: Jennifer Gih